Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Happenings

Happenings
 
 
Bad things fucking happen everyday
 
Fuck that shit
 
I control my own outcome
 
People stare in disbelief
 
Fuck you
 
I'm real
 
I have flesh
 
Blood
 
Do, say what you want fucking want to me
 
You fuck tards can't change me
 
Only I can fix me
 
My stability is my own choice
 
I choose life and serenity
 
You fucks don't need to believe it
 
I am myself even when
 
I'm not

Thoughtless Motion

Thoughtless Motion

 
Sounds, voices, music
 
Constantly listening
 
Actions, movements, attachments
 
Constantly watching
 
The sounds over come thy body and mind
 
The voices annoy my intelligence
 
The music calms thy soul
 
The actions can't be undone
 
The movements are to fast, to late
 
The attachments for that fuck finally gone
 
I now listen to thy soul, spirit and heart
 
I now just watch and learn
 
 

Alternative Misinterpreted

Alternative Misinterpreted
 
Black, suede, spiked, stilettos
 
Skin tight rocker jeans
 
Flowing Nirvana shirt
 
80s hair, tattoos, piercings
 
Leopard print nails
 
All mistaken
 
Only seen as broken.
 
Damaged
 
Misinterpreted of health and mind
 
Alternative babe
 
Likes to rock the fuck out
 
Intelligence ignored
 
Seen as a manipulator
 
Self mutilation  
 
Non-understandable
 
Scars, blood on her flesh
 
Seen as non sense
 
"She Must be Fucked"
 
Lock her up throw away the key
 
Rocker fucking babe
 
She'll always be!
 
 
 
 
 
   
 


Sunday, 2 June 2013

automatic opening for their misunderstanding

I get mad at shit all the time 

No matter how mad I get

People still miss treat me

Am I letting them

Am I just a person that deserve to be treated like shit



When people see how good and giving of a person you are
 
It's a automatic opening for their misunderstanding of the type of good qualities to give.

Vulnerable Gullibility

Sometimes I feel like i'm bullied a lot
 
I'm so diffrent from others
 
people think its funny to play around with my gullibility
 
 
what gives them the right
 
to sit and point
 
at someone so vulnerable?
 

Sunday, 26 May 2013

Genuinely

I bought a Samsung tablet today, from my bestfriend Rosie. Thanks girl! The reason for my buying this was to blog as much ad I can , to reach out to anyone who needs reaching. I really want to be as open as I can be. This has opened a new door for my capabilities with my writing and reaching out, educating and learning as I go.

Its has been a hell of a drive my whole life, theirs been someone else pushing on the paddle sending me into in the wrong direction for a long time. Today I hold the stiering wheel, I choose not to let anything take control over me ever again.

I'm a fighter and I love fighting and standing strong along side the people I love, not in front or behind.

I do not think it's that from way away from me being fully confident and having a understanding of my self and how I want to be treated and how I sould treat others.

One recently learned that I was holding a grudge against a very nice hard wrong person that has no intention in hurting me or my family in any way, my greatest flaw is how I react to any form of critisum direct or indirect which brings out the strong advocate that always intensely restirs the pot to bring out Truths and strong beliefs.

As many readers can see, is that I'm a to honest of a person in which, can cause heart ache for my self and others.

I don't know of ill ever stop holding grudes against people who have caused harm to me or others, physically or mentally but all I can say is that the only people who have true meaning in my life are that ones who are patient with me and are very; humble, strong willed, honest people with genuine integrity.

For my friends abd family who are reading, all of you amaze me everyday with your strength, love you all.

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Assholeness

Life is only what you make of it

If your going to be a ass

Act like a ass

 

You life will be filled with unwanted assholeness
 

Sunday, 12 May 2013

Happy Mothers day to me

I used to be torn and ripped apart
Self esteem was non existent.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Bipolar Dark and Scary?

Living with bipolar is all dark and scary. Sure, I have very frightening days where I can't understand why my emotions are so heightened. In the most random of times the smallest of triggers could cause me to get lost in the darkness.

When I'm in the darkness and I'm very confused and very frustrated I often need to verbal support from the people I love and if I don't seek the support, I can get sick really fast.

If you are a person in recovery you need a person in your life that won't judge you and, that will listen to what you have to say but just mostly listen and you'll figure it out as you are speaking you also need this person to distract you from the way you are thinking id talking about isn't working.


When I am done and, I have understood or just forgotten how I was feeling, life turns into a okay thing and very bearable.

My life isn't just about being A recovering person, my life is always filled with happiness I'm surrounded by positive wise strong people who are at my need at any moment which helps me become more stable everyday.

there's so much hope for any person like myself you just really have to want it, and start having move of a understanding of your recovery the more you educate yourself about yourself.

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

No Longer Left Unsaid!

                                                      I say the things no one says.

                                                         Normal folk call it crazy,

                                                   Im never fazed! I call them Lazy!

                                                     Im never affaird always strong.

                                          I've been hiding in the dark for to fucking long!




                                   Take your stright Jackets and Shove them up your ass.

                               Take your cruel unnessary words, and toss them in the trash.

                                                           Im done with you shit.

                                                         Im a dimond in the rough.

                                                         You won't label me unfit.

Missunderstood for being tough.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Trapped within

I'll always be the little creepy sad girl standing away from everyone else, I'm alright with that because I understand that no one understands the misunderstood.


I don't need to built my walls because everyone as already built one around me away from them.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Nothing to see here!

You ignore my pain, you cannot feel the intensity of it.
 
 
 
This pain belongs to me, it gives me strength that you'll never know!

Screaming so softly

I scream so loud but no one hears me!
I cry so hard but my tears are left unseen.
I beg for help,they just pass me by.
 


You cannot fucking erase me! I won't let you!
 
I'm here that is that! You can look away but i'm here to stay.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

label gun

People say I'm just misunderstood, that's not true at all,what you see is what you get, A mangled mess.
What they don't know is, I love and want to be loved just like you and them and her and him. I breath I feel I walk and talk! Who is it that labels me to be this and that?

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Holding you tight.


My darkness is my light its my twinkle its your fright I will keep it with all my might.


Light my darkness

Their was a girl who loved all things that sparkled and she loved to be as sparkly as she can be, she felt if     she sparkled on the outside that she it would help light up the darkness inside of her.

She smiles she laughs she seems alright but what no one knows she screams and cries underneath it all.

Always sad and angry and so full of hate,takes control no matter how hard she try's to be happy like everyone else.


Everyone stares but don't understand what they see,so they run and they hide and speak in their whispered  tones, be away from her and it solves the problems.

                                        They choose not to understand her to scared to get it.

When she laughs and sparkles everyone comes out of hiding.